_The alarm clock rings and both of you roll out of bed to get ready for the day. Early evening, you arrive home from work to help the kids with homework and start dinner. It is several hours later that the workaholic spouse comes through the door. This should be the time for family, relaxation and bonding. But, this is not the case in your household. The spouse rushes to the computer to get in a little more work. Your spouse is a workaholic.

It is tempting to get angry and frustrated that your quiet evening is with your spouse working and not bonding with the family. Not to mention all of the events you go to by yourself or activities that aren't shared with your spouse. Even though the extra money is nice to have, feelings of resentment can slowly fester. You would rather have less money and live on a tighter budget in exchange for quality time with your workaholic spouse.

What is the solution?

Let your workaholic spouse know that you are feeling alone in the relationship because there is so little quality time for each other and with the kids. Suggest that for just one hour after they get home, the time will be dedicated to family. Cook some meals together. Select one television series to watch for one hour weekly in the evening. Agree on a couple nights a week of no work after getting home. It should be about nurturing the marriage and family.

A workaholic feels the strong need to accomplish tasks and to earn money. Encouraging them to accomplish specific tasks to nurture the marriage and family will fulfill the same need they get from working. Work out a new budget together that allows for the workaholic to bring in less money for the family, while financial obligations are still being met. This will encourage the workaholic to spend more time with the family without feeling guilty about financial burdens not being fulfilled.

On the flip side, be understanding for the times your workaholic spouse has a special assignment that they have no choice in working on at home. Understand each other's feelings and find a balance so that your marriage and family structure does not fall apart.

 


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