Each person has to define what cheating means to them. Each couple has to define what cheating is within the boundaries of their relationship. The basic rule of cheating is doing anything you wouldn't do in front of your partner with the opposite sex. It is important to clearly define what constitutes unacceptable behavior.

Unfortunately, cheating does happen, sometimes in what appears to be good relationships. Once cheating happens, the question of forgiving has to be evaluated. Following are some guidelines to help you decide:
  • Has your partner cheated multiple times? Unless she has a rude awakening and a very bright light goes off, chances are she will not change anytime soon. This is a personal flaw that can only be changed within the cheater. There has to be a willingness and desire to change. If you don't see a willingness and desire in your partner to change, you will not forgive.
  • If your partner cheated, has he shown true remorse for doing so? A person who is truly sorry will hold themselves accountable and will show, in both words and actions, that they are sorry. In this case, it might be possible to salvage the relationship and forgive the cheater. 
  • What is your commitment to each other? Do you both have what it takes to repair and renew your relationship? If your commitment to making your relationship work is weak, it is unlikely you will be able to forgive. 
  • How much do you have invested in this relationship? If you have been together for a long time and your relationship was generally healthy, analyze what led to your partner cheating. Did they take a momentary wrong turn or is cheating something you feel they will continue to do?
Ultimately, only you can decide if you can forgive your partner for cheating. Before making a final decision, take a step back and analyze what led to the cheating. Ask yourself, if your partner does everything toward being a better partner and never cheats again, do you have the ability to forgive?


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